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Saturday, April 27, 2013


I think we all have those moments where we hit rock bottom either mentally, emotionally, or physically.  I've been at this place before or at some level but I've managed to get there again physically.  I never realized how much physical fitness can play a role in our overall happiness until I experienced the entire year of 2011.  This was a pivotal moment in my life, I became a runner, and I want to get to that point again. I'm currently in a terrible place, which is hard to admit.  It's affecting many aspects of my life but I'm ready to make some serious changes.

I absolutely must make some changes.  I'm very unhappy with my body right now and I miss how active I was less than a year ago.  Let's be honest - I have an incredible (and expensive) wardrobe that is literally bursting at the seams and makes me so uncomfortable I can barely breathe.  Thank goodness shoes always fit (and purses!).  Even my workout clothes are tight - not a good sign :( 

I've made excuse after excuse for not getting to that place again (my 2011 place) - the main reason being I've convinced myself I can't do it alone.  This is a major issue for me because I became a runner with someone so I conditioned my body and my mind to believe I needed a partner to be able to accomplish my goals.  

I did do amazing things with my running partner, but I also I need to understand that I, I did those things - I put in all those miles, I accomplished goals that I set for myself, and I ran that marathon and half marathons.  Would I have survived training and all those running hours alone?  Would I have stuck with it?  I don't know.  Looking back I can't honestly answer that.  I loved the social aspect of running and I loved running with Jill.... she became one of my closest friends and we will always be friends.

But now I'm venturing out on my own... for the most part.  I'm going to focus on the mental part of running and why it makes us stronger - physically and emotionally.  I want to use running as a personal release, stress reliever, escape and I want it to be enjoyable again.  I want to be excited for my runs, to use it as me time, to get outside and run.

When I started running, it was in a very strange way, not the way most people (at least I don't think so) do it - I started couch to marathon in 6 months - and I think it was more detrimental than beneficial.  I've also never been a runner without "training" for anything.  So now, starting right now, I'm starting from scratch, just to be a runner.  That is my only goal.  I just want to be a runner.  

In the back of my mind of course I'm already thinking about fall marathons or half marathons and of course Boston is always floating around in my head - let's be serious here - even at my fastest I was barely pushing a 10 minute mile (but I'm fucking proud of it!).  Still, I'm just one of those ambitious people that can't help dreaming big and pushing myself to the limit.  

So, I've made a very manageable, do-able, basic, start-from-scratch plan to get me on my way to being a runner again and since I no longer have a daily running buddy to keep me accountable, I'm going to blog about my running adventures here on Saturdays.... just Saturdays so I don't bore everyone! 

I'm excited to get started and begin my new journey!

Always, J