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Monday, May 20, 2013

Blog Everyday in May 05202013


::05202013::
prompt-something you're struggling with right now:

I am someone that believes in being happy.  Absolutely happy - to the fullest degree.  I don't want life to pass me by and I look back years from now and have regrets, what ifs, could have beens, - I hate the unknowns.  I know that doesn't sound like a bad thing or something to struggle with but it has become this all encompassing pursuit.  Almost a driving madness.  

I want more than anything to be happy - in every aspect of life and I think because I have chosen this and I know it's my choice, that its become a great intense struggle.  This sounds ridiculously cliche - the grass is always greener on the other side - it's something I struggle with almost daily.  

I have a hard time just being happy in the present moment - whether its the most amazing thing I've ever experienced or not, I always over analyze and think about how it could be better or whether I can find something better.  And then I start thinking about, well if I'm doing this right now - is there something else I could be doing that might make me happier.... 

It's a never ending vicious cycle.  

But I'm getting better at it - being happy in the moment, recognizing the moments in our lives - which are once in a lifetime.  We will never get them back, we don't get do-overs so we have to choose them wisely.  Happiness is a pursuit, not a reflection.

Always, J