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Friday, May 24, 2013

Blog Everyday in May 05242013

prompt-your top three worst traits:

Do I really want to share this?

One:: I ignore things.  I mean absolutely ignore things.  I do this with all sorts of things - in my mind if I just ignore it, I just think it will go away.  If I ignore conflict, maybe things will blow over and things will get better.  If I don't open mail, maybe it will just go away.  If I ignore bad news, maybe it never happened.  If you ask me to do something I don't want to, maybe I won't have to if I just ignore it long enough.  It's a form of severe denial, I've always been like this - it also leads to procrastination.  It also causes very small manageable problems to become enormous out of control infectious problems that I usually can't seem to deal with on my own.  In my own defense, I at least now recognize I do this, I've only noticed this in the last year or so.... but I've been like this all my life.  

Two:: Compartmentalization.  I'm really really good at ignoring things because I compartmentalize really well.  About 80% of the time - sometimes I can't get it together.  Now that I'm reading back through this I seem completely neurotic... so take this with a grain of salt, I'm just being honest here - it says WORST TRAITS!  When I'm at work - I have my work hat on, all business, very professional.  If I'm having a personal problem or something going on with my family, I can keep it tucked away with my professional face on - there's no crying in baseball.  Also if I really dislike you, I mean borderline hate you, I can sit right next to you, make small talk - ask about your family, your job, hobbies, have one hell of a great time - but don't be fooled, we are not friends.  

Three::  I am not the best listener... ok that's a lie, I'm a terrible listener.  I can be a good listener, when I focus and concentrate on listening, like during a personal face to face conversation.  But on the phone, absolutely not - we could talk for five  minutes or an hour and there's a pretty good chance I won't remember any of it.  Also in passing conversation I won't remember anything we talk about - it's not because I don't want to hear what you have to say, it's just because I'm incredibly visual so other things are distracting me...very distracting.  I can listen while taking notes, or watching a presentation but not just listening alone - absolutely won't happen. It's strange because if I read the information, I can remember it verbatim forever...but if you read it to me, you might as well be talking to a wall. Your secrets are safe with me.

Honestly I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to admit these things, a year or two ago I wouldn't have been able to come up with anything.  I would call that some serious personal growth! 

Always, J ♥