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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Blog Everyday in May 05302013

prompt-Letting go:

I use to be a fighter. 

I use to fight for everything, everything I was passionate about, everything I felt strongly about, everything I cared about, hell - even things I felt someone else should be fighting for... but now I'm worn down, I don't fight like I use to, I don't fight as hard for things, I don't put up a struggle, I'm not the bull I once was, I give up easier and faster than I use to.  This really concerned me for the longest time once I started to realize I was doing it.  I felt my personality was weakening and I was pretty fearful of the thought of it.  

But I've let go now. 

Maybe I'm just growing older more recently and understanding the bureaucracy better, the limitations of certain things, the expectations of others, and the standard complacency which most of the world resides.  Maybe it's just that so few of us want to make a difference and so few of us care so deeply that the rest of the them just dilute the concentrated energy.  

As much as this shift in myself scares me, that I'm becoming complacent, passive, immune, worst of all - indifferent, it's also wonderfully relieving.  I can say no like everyone else, pass it up, walk on by, look the other way, not give a fucking shit, just let it go.  

I know it will come back, the resolve to change, the fight, the challenge, the drive to stand up against barriers, the willingness to be the voice of difference, and the one who will continue on regardless. 

It's good to let go, recharge, re-energize, renew, recover, revitalize.  

Come back stronger than ever before.

Always, J